Motivation

It's all become so much a part of my life, this brain tumor thing, that if I'm going to keep blogging, I really need something else to discuss. As long as Ronnie continues to do as well as he has been doing, well, I'm just not obsessing over maybes. He's a happy, charming, wonderful kid who just happens to have a brain tumor that isn't affecting him all that much. At least not yet and we continue to hope not ever. Still, we have been blessed by friends, family, and some truly wonderful people in the medical profession. One of the great positives of the situation is the people I've met at MGH. Which brings me to today's post.

I'm going on record. As of this past Thursday, I am officially training to run the Boston Marathon in 2008. I will be running to raise money for pediatric cancer research with the MGH team. Starting next March or so, I will be hitting up everyone I know for donations. I will accept $1, no amount is too small. Yes, the cause is one that has affected me personally. I need something to motivate me to run 26 miles. Let me rephrase that, to finish 26 miles. I had mentioned that I'd give it a try but that with my current schedule, serious training was not in the cards. More than one runner told me about the Galloway Method. You incorporate walk breaks from the beginning. You even train that way. Run for 5 minutes, walk for 1, and you keep it up for 26 miles, eventually. I have timed myself in the mile (13 minutes, yuck) and I have run 1 1/2 miles using the method. I've started. I'm training on a treadmill until I can get my mile time down to, hopefully, 10 - 10 1/2 minutes. Then I'm going out on the road for longer than 1 1/2 miles. Wish me luck.

Jason Ray

I haven't posted in awhile because I've been torn up about Jason Ray. Jason was the young man who for three years donned the Ram costume as the mascot for the University of North Carolina. He was accidentally hit by an SUV as he walked along a highway in New Jersey the weekend of the Regional Finals and later died. I still can't believe it. As soon as I heard the news my heart went out to his family. The reports were that he had a head injury. I kept thinking of Eddie.

When Ronnie was in the ICU over Christmas suffering from complications from his biopsy, there was a 16 year old victim of a freak accident in the next bed, Eddie. He had fallen off the back of his friends car in a parking lot and suffered a severe head injury. His parents had been asked if they wanted to sign a DNR and had been prepared for the worst. He had already been in the ICU for 2 weeks when Ronnie arrived. The day we got there, the doctors started talking about tomorrow and longer term plans for the first time with Eddie's family. He opened his eyes on Christmas Eve. Eddie's family adopted me for Christmas and I got to know them well, the whole extended crew. Eddie went back to school or the first time the day before Ronnie's follow-up MRI. I call them the Miracle Buddies. When I heard about Jason, I started praying for another miracle. I really thought we would get one.

Why didn't we get another miracle? I know there's no answer to that question. Why did my son develop a brain tumor in the first place? Why did Eddie have to go through what he went through? Why did my miracle buddies make it? When Ronnie's MRI results came back, well, I always knew the treatment was going to work, I KNEW it. It wasn't that I didn't allow myself to consider alternatives, I knew they were there but somehow, deep down, I knew we weren't going to be in that position. At least not this time around. Again, why? Did I have faith? I expected a miracle for Jason and his family too though and it didn't happen. I don't want to get too religious on this blog. I rarely pray for myself and as an extension, it's been hard to pray for Ronnie. I have no qualms about asking others to pray for him though. I pray for the Jasons and the Eddies of the world. And when I do pray for myself, I pray for the strength to deal with what life hands me. I'm praying for that for Jason's family now.