Jason Ray

I haven't posted in awhile because I've been torn up about Jason Ray. Jason was the young man who for three years donned the Ram costume as the mascot for the University of North Carolina. He was accidentally hit by an SUV as he walked along a highway in New Jersey the weekend of the Regional Finals and later died. I still can't believe it. As soon as I heard the news my heart went out to his family. The reports were that he had a head injury. I kept thinking of Eddie.

When Ronnie was in the ICU over Christmas suffering from complications from his biopsy, there was a 16 year old victim of a freak accident in the next bed, Eddie. He had fallen off the back of his friends car in a parking lot and suffered a severe head injury. His parents had been asked if they wanted to sign a DNR and had been prepared for the worst. He had already been in the ICU for 2 weeks when Ronnie arrived. The day we got there, the doctors started talking about tomorrow and longer term plans for the first time with Eddie's family. He opened his eyes on Christmas Eve. Eddie's family adopted me for Christmas and I got to know them well, the whole extended crew. Eddie went back to school or the first time the day before Ronnie's follow-up MRI. I call them the Miracle Buddies. When I heard about Jason, I started praying for another miracle. I really thought we would get one.

Why didn't we get another miracle? I know there's no answer to that question. Why did my son develop a brain tumor in the first place? Why did Eddie have to go through what he went through? Why did my miracle buddies make it? When Ronnie's MRI results came back, well, I always knew the treatment was going to work, I KNEW it. It wasn't that I didn't allow myself to consider alternatives, I knew they were there but somehow, deep down, I knew we weren't going to be in that position. At least not this time around. Again, why? Did I have faith? I expected a miracle for Jason and his family too though and it didn't happen. I don't want to get too religious on this blog. I rarely pray for myself and as an extension, it's been hard to pray for Ronnie. I have no qualms about asking others to pray for him though. I pray for the Jasons and the Eddies of the world. And when I do pray for myself, I pray for the strength to deal with what life hands me. I'm praying for that for Jason's family now.